Wives Tails
In a previous incarnation.
Before the beginning of time
In a previous incarnation
I was married to a Pterodactyl
In a white sports coat and pink carnation.
On our wedding night
She flapped around and slithered
Her in-laws were all lizards
And in shock, I drooped and withered.
She hardly had a tail
So, there’s little I can say
About my ex-wife’s history
Or what we did from day to day.
My second wife, I must say
Had a long tail but little history
She was an anaconda
And her past a complete mystery.
She was very affectionate
Though her intentions were unclear
When she’d squeeze me with her hugs
And whisper “yummy” in my ear.
The third wife I had
Was the very latest model
She called her tail my wiggly bum
And she’d shimmy sing and yodel.
These are the only wives’ tales
I can clearly remember
Except for the very last one
An elephant was born in December.
One day when in the bathroom
After she’d been in the bath and washed
Whilst toweling down her derriere
Tripped, fell and I was squashed.
©
David Rudder
28th January 2013
Thanks for reading.
